Do You Know What You Want?

Over the last few years, specifically ever since I turned 30, I have been feverishly in search of the oh-so elusive enigma to which we refer to as "LOVE". I have dated below my standards, i.e., shorter men, chubbier men, jobless men, and the infamous, "I still live with my mama" men; I have dated men who were seemingly above my standards, i.e., high maintenance men who spend more time primping and prepping than most women; and I have dated men who were just right... so I thought- decent job, own place, own transportation, all his teeth... you know... the basic attributes that a desirable mate should have, but this particular man lacked one thing- he was unavailable mentally because he had checked-out on love. All of this settling and never once finding anyone that even remotely made me happy or anyone who was just a smidge tolerable enough to deal with on a regular basis.

I started to think that maybe I'm just being a little too damn picky; or that maybe no one would ever satisfy me enough to the point where I was at least complacent enough to deal. But one night, I was talking to an old college girlfriend and she asked me a question that I had never even contemplated in all of this- "Do you really know what you want in a man right now?"

Of course we all seem to think that we know exactly what it is that we want in a mate, but if we are truly honest with ourselves and actually sat down and made a list of all of the things that we wanted, would it take us a few minutes to complete this list, or a few days, even weeks to figure it out? I'd lump myself in with the latter on this one. As I thought about that question, I came to the realization that I, in fact, had no damn idea what I wanted in a mate.

I'm 35 years old, never been married, engaged, or even had a dating relationship that lasted longer than a month. So somewhere in here, I need to figure this shit out. Its like I'm starting to feel my clock ticking. I never thought I would say that because I always figured that I had time. But now, now I'm feeling like time is running out. I was reading an article online at couplescompany.com and in the article it states that after age 35, roughly 50% of those left in the dating pool have no addictions, no mental diseases or other issues that would be detrimental to a loving and healthy relationship. Is that really the type of shit that I want to be thinking about when it comes to me dating? Obviously this means that the stated percentage gets lower and lower as we get older. I'm just not trying to be in this dating pool, wading around with a bunch of guppies. I intend to figure out what I want, write it down, and consciously make attempts to find that special someone. So ask yourself, do you want to be with me in this lonely row boat of the unknown, or do you know what you want?