Date #2 - Cory, The Air Traffic Controller

How We Met

Cory, just like Derrick, I met online a few months ago. Unlike Derrick, I had never met Cory face-to-face before this encounter. Back in the summer of 2012, Cory and I met on a dating site that I no longer browse. We sent messages back and forth sporadically for almost a month. During that time, not once did either of us suggest exchanging phone numbers and that was fine with me. He didn’t really have great conversation online. Most of his responses were no more than six or seven words at best and I never got a vibe that he wanted to meet me outside of the site, so when the messages suddenly stopped coming and he was nowhere to be found, I didn’t think twice about it.  

Here we are some seven or eight months later and he appears back on the scene on another site. He sends me a message asking if he could call me. I send him my number and don’t hear from him for another week. Something told me that he had a girlfriend, but I wasn’t really sure. Just like date #1, Cory is 37, no kids, educated, and has a great career.   

I was never really that keen on the idea of doing anything outside of conversing on the phone with Cory. Aside from his ridiculously handsome appearance, he was nothing more than eye candy. Sure, he had his bachelor’s degree in Mathematics and a Masters degree in Physics (which is awesome in itself), but he still didn’t offer up much substance to who he was. It seemed that his prowess with numbers and formulas came natural to him, but everything else that is common sense, logic, and reasoning in real life situations, he lacked. Another thing that didn’t sit well with me about what I saw of Cory in his profile pictures was that he didn’t smile in any of them. On my profile, I make a statement saying, “If you do not smile in your pictures, I’m going to assume you have no teeth”. They are important to me as I would hope that they are important to everyone.

Our messages online were so blahzay, so I figured that his phone conversation had to be at least a few steps above that. Much to my dismay, it… was… not! Talking to him was like watching paint dry while you waited to pass out from the inhalation of the fumes. After a few days of insanely boring conversations, I thought well maybe he’s not interested; so I asked,

“ How come you aren’t talking?”

“What do you mean? I’m answering all of your questions,” he quipped. “I’m not going to give you more information than you need.”

Huh? More information than I need? What the hell does that mean?

“I’m not asking for your social security number or the pin code to your bank card Cory,” I say, “ I’m asking you to engage me in conversation. If that’s asking too much then maybe we need to stop before we get started.”

We shouldn’t even be having this particular conversation. Who does this within the first few conversatons? Apparently… me!

“Fine, what else do you want to know?” he exclaims sounding exasperated.

Being the person that I am, I matter of factly let him know that I’m not up for this. It already seems like too much work just to have a damn conversation. I wished him well on his search for whatever the hell he was looking for and I hung up. He immediately called back,

“I’m sorry. I had a bad day today and I should have checked it before I even called you.”

I really didn’t want to hear anymore, but I listened anyway as he explained how his day had went and how he’s having issues with some family members. I let him know that if he doesn’t communicate that kind of stuff correctly, next time, he may get cursed out without hesitation. He apologized again and asked me if I was busy on February 1. At that time, my schedule was open, so I was good to go. He wanted to take me to dinner and a movie. Fine by me. As I always say, free food and free entertainment… right up my alley. We make plans and continued to stay in touch as the date drew nearer.

The Date

By the time February 1 arrived, as I stated before, I wasn’t too amped about Cory. And seeing that just the night before I had one of the best dates ever to which I received a call asking for another date on the night I was supposed to go with Cory, I was a little hard-pressed to continue with my plans with him. I don’t know, maybe I jinxed this date with my thoughts. I had it already playing out in my head as going drastically horrible.

By 5 pm, I was in a jam. I told Cory we could do dinner and a movie, but I had Derrick from date #1 on stand-by until I could figure something out. Again, I went to my Facebook friends and posed my dilemma. I received the following responses on what to do:

·         Breakfast, lunch, and dinner dates

·         Put date #1 off until my next free night

·         Double date with both guys (typical male response…lol)

·         Go w/ the one I like the most

·         Don’t say yes to date #1 because it may come off desperate

·         Happy hour with date #2 and meet up with date #1 afterwards

·         Don’t make myself too available for #1

Those were the general responses from everyone that responded. I know that most of my friends said that I shouldn’t be so eager to go back out with date #1 and that I should make myself unavailable, but I hate playing that game. I always feel like if you like someone, then go for it. But in the end, it’s all one big ass mind fuck anyway right? He’s playing the game and you’re playing the game. If you’re smart, you’ll win the heart of the other, but if you’re foolish, you may lose altogether. Needless to say, because my vibes with Cory were jacked up and our conversations were already strained, I told him that I thought we should just do happy hour by my job. This actually worked to my benefit. He didn’t have to work so he was already at the mall down the street from my job returning something. Instead of our initial plans of me rushing home to change clothes, only to get back in the car and sit another hour or two in the traffic to drive south of the city, this worked out great. Just in case this date with Cory didn’t turn out good, I text Derrick and told him that I was going to go to happy hour with “co workers” who wanted to do karaoke afterwards and depending on how I felt after happy hour, I would give him a call. This too, worked out great! He was going to a happy hour with some of his frat brothers so that would keep him on ice for the next few hours.  

By the time I got to Uncle Julio’s, Cory was at the bar and had already demolished two drinks, with drink three in hand. We greeted one another with the general pleasantries and I took a seat at the bar. As we talked, or should I say, as I talked, Cory wasn’t’ saying much and when he did say something, his head was either turned in the opposite direction, he was looking straight ahead or looking down at the bar. I was beginning to get self conscious. I looked across at the mirror to quickly glance at my appearance. I looked okay. Hair wasn’t out of place or anything, so what was the problem? Did I stink? Doubt it… I could still smell my perfume from earlier which he complimented after we hugged. Was it my breath? I did the breath in hand check- smelled okay to me. Did he not find me attractive? Hell naw!!!  Instead of continuing to wonder, I asked,

“Cory? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you looking at me when I talk, or hell, when you talk?”

He looks at me and as he begins to say something he stops and turns his head. I’m getting a little frustrated now. I grab him by the shoulder and playful turn him back towards me but he forcefully pushes my hand away. Eyebrows raise… eyes get big… heart starts pumping… ATTITUDE IN FULL EFFECT!

“Now hold up Cory, if you didn’t want to come, you should have just said something. We don’t have to stay. I can get my shit and go home.”

I say through clenched teeth only because I’m not trying to make any more of a scene than he just did. As I talking, he shakes his head,

“What? What are you shaking your head for?” I asked. “Talk Cory! I don’t read minds and I’m not about to sit here all night trying to get you to talk.”

How could a man this well put together, be this socially awkward? This whole encounter with him started out on shaky ground- why I expected for this to be any different I don’t know. I was hoping that he was one of those people who didn’t like talking on the phone versus in person and that a face-to-face date would bring him out… clearly I was wrong.

As he’s still sitting there, still not saying one damn word, I try one more time. I lean closer and get under his face to peer up at him as he’s starring down at the floor,

“So you’re still not going to say anything?”

As I’m looking up at him in this awkward ass position, I notice that he keeps fidgeting his lips and moving his tongue over his teeth as his mouth is closed. I sit up on the bar stool and wait patiently for him to speak. As he finally gets ready to say something, he briefly fidgets his lips again. He turns my way and begins to say very slowly,

“The reason why I’m not sa-…”

Out pops his FOUR front teeth. *SIGH*… Ya’ll don’t know how bad I wanted to slide right on up out of that damn bar stool and spill out right on the floor. It took every piece of restraint I could find in my body to keep from laughing, running out the door, or going to hide in a corner. I maintained my composure but the two guys sitting next to me didn’t. As Cory was picking his teeth up off the ground, I turned to them and gave a look as to say ‘c’mon guys, chill the fuck out… it’s not that damn funny.’ I get the attention of the bartender and ask for a glass of water, no ice… just in case he wanted to wash them off, but I guess he wanted to do it in the bathroom. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I had never experienced anything so embarrassing. I’m sure it was worse for him but we could have avoided this if he would have just said something or even wrote it on a napkin.

When he came back from the bathroom, he finally opened up and told me that he has gum disease which causes his teeth to fall out. What came out was his bridge that he had put in a few years ago and it someone became loose today. He said he could tell he wasn’t holding earlier but didn’t want to break the date. See, this is why communication is important in any type of relationship. I explained to him that had he communicated this to me earlier, this whole scene could have been prevented. I did, however, have to inquire about the hand shove. He claims that he has issues with people touching him *side eye*. I don’t know, part of me thinks that he wasn’t interested, but if that’s the case, why not just say it? Why go this far with the whole thing?

He asks if I would be upset if we ended the date earlier than expected. Of course I understood that he was embarrassed and wanted to get home, so I didn’t say no. We give parting hugs and I tell him that I hope things work out for him. As I leave, he texts me and much to my surprise, asks for a second date sometime in the next week or two. I text back that it depends on if he plans on talking or not, but ultimately told him that we’ll see. I don't think we're a good fit. From the time we started corresponding with one another, he's been too inconsistent. He doesn't communicate well, and he definitely has signs of a short temper. So, more than likely, there won't be a date #2 with guy #2.