Date #7 - Kerry, The Barber

How We Met

I over at my normal beauty supply shop over in Roswell when I saw him. I was on my way into the beauty supply store and noticed him and another guy standing in front of the barber shop just down the walkway. He was my type… about 10-15 years ago; tall, 6’3”/6’4”, 265-270 pounds, with a baby face. I’ve always been a big bowl of mush for a big ol’ linebacker/defensive back type of guy with a cute face. That’s how I used to like them… before I grew out of having a “type” of man and grew into learning to like those that treat me as I deserved to be treated.

I parked my car, got out and locked my doors. I had my sunglasses on, so I know he didn’t see me checking him out the whole time he was in my line of sight, but I definitely saw him checking me out. Due to the fact that I’m a Gemini, and a huge flirt, I had to turn and make sure that he was looking at me and have him notice that I was looking at him one more time before I walked into the store.

I spent about 15 minutes shopping. I got what I needed and headed back to my car. I was a little disappointed that he wasn’t standing outside when I left. I just wanted to look at him one last time. Of course, I could always be bold and just go back but that’s doing too much. I am a regular up in this beauty supply so I’m sure I’ll see him again, provided that he's still working there when I come back by. That barber shop has a high turnover rate. There's always new guys working in there whenever I come to the shopping plaza.

As I was  backing out of my parking spot, I look in my rear-view mirror and see him coming out of the door of the barber shop. Here was my chance, I might as well take it. If I pull off without at least talking to him I'm going to beat myself up for punking out the rest of the day.

I let my window down to say something and before I could get a word out, he was already walking up to my car.

Well damn! As my boy Gucci Mane would say. I guess the vibe was mutual.

He leans down and smiles. Uggggghhhh… GOLD TOOTH BANDIT!!!

There it was- one damn gold tooth, smack dab in the middle of his mouth!!! WITH a frickin star in the middle of it! FML!!! I was soooooo not feeling him anymore once I saw that. I wanted to hit the button and let my window fly up in his face and smash on the gas out of the parking lot. Yet, I remind myself that it’s not all about the small details. ONE tooth can be changed… eventually, if need be. It’s not like his entire mouth is grilled out in gold. He could very well be one of the sweetest, kindest, most sincere men I’ve ever met, and I would never know if I let something like this deter me from getting to know him.

“How you doin miss lady?” he says flashing that tooth directly in my face.

Another southern greeting that I’ve never been fond of, but I smile sweetly and respond, “I’m alright… what’s your name young man?” I ask coyly.

“Oh, my name Kerry.” He replies.

I extend my hand out of the window, “It’s nice to meet you Kerry, I’m Candy.” I say as we shake hands.

His hands are rough. I mean really hard. I’m big on hands. I usually can gauge whether or not a man takes care of himself by shaking his hand. It also lets me know if he’s a man that doesn’t mind doing a little manual labor around the house which is a plus in my book.

He notices that I’m paying attention to his hands. As I feel his hands, he says, “I’m a country boy miss lady. We believe in using our hands to get things done” He flashes that gold tooth and I swear I heard *BLING* as the sun hit it.

“Uh huh!” is all I could say. He stands up next to the car and the crickets of silence sound off. Why there was an awkward silence, I don’t know. He rustled with his barbers smock and finally broke the silence.

“So can I get your number miss Candy?” he asks.

I had to stop this now. I know some of you think it’s a form of being respectful or that it’s cute, but it irks my nerves.

“You can get my number, only if you promise to just call me Candy. No more ‘miss’ in front… agreed?” I say as I smile and stick my pinky out for a little pinky pledge.

“That’s cool. I’m sorry mi-,” he shakes his head to clear his former thought and we both laugh a little, “I’m sorry, Candy” he says as he wraps his pinky around mine.

He pulls out his phone and I give him my number. This was totally against my better judgment. My thoughts about the tooth, the thought of his rough, calloused hands (at some point in time… if ever) roaming across my body, and he has smokers lips were all flags. Not that I have anything against anyone who smokes, however, my personal preference is not to date a smoker. I hate kissing them. Blech!!! I hate the smell of a guy who smokes and covers it up with a shit load of cologne.

I didn’t really expect for this to go anywhere, but I could always use a bit of entertaining, and I wanted to fill my calendar with dates, so, I’ll just go with the flow.

That same night, I get a text from Kerry asking to meet at Buffalo Wild Wings for drinks. I thought, why the hell not?

The Date

Before I started getting ready to leave for my date, I had this feeling. I can’t exactly describe it, but it was a feeling of angst coupled with feelings of being tired and just wanting to stay home. I’m still on my weight loss quest so I’ve amped up my workouts and it’s beginning to take a toll on me physically.

The troubled feelings that I had came from the text that I had received from Kerry most of the evening. The first text wasn’t bad, but they somewhat got progressively worse (at least in my mind). The first text read:

“Is it bad that I just want to kiss you?”

Duuuuuuude... why would you text me something like that and you don’t even know me? Maybe I’m being too uptight. Maybe I’m concerned about his age. I mean, he’s 28. I typically NEVER date anyone under 33, so 28 is pushing far beyond the outer limits.

My biggest concern is that he’s just a little horn dog and he’s going to try to screw me… literally!

I never gave a response to the first text. The second text came about an hour after the first.

“How is it that a woman like you, can make a young playa like me want you so bad and not even know you?”

He’s kidding right? He can’t be serious with this shit? A “woman like you”, dude, again, you don’t even know me! We talked for like eight minutes. “A young playa like me…” stop it! Making a reference to yourself as a “young playa” didn’t do anything but validate my apprehension of going out with someone so damn young!

That’s it. I’m calling and I’m going to make up an excuse why I can’t go. I don’t think I can stomach sitting through two, let alone one hour of this kind of foolishness.

As I picked up the phone to call Kerry, the third text came in:

“Send me a picture of that sexy ass so I can save it my phone.”

Uuuggghhh!!! Once again, FML!!!

I dial Kerry’s number and his phone goes straight to voicemail. I hate being that person that uses voicemail to back out on a date, but such as life!

“Yoooooooo… what it do! This ya boy K-swing, let it rip after the beep…” *BEEP*

I’m sure he heard me saying “This cannot be life…” as the beep of the voicemail silenced and it was time for me to leave my message.

“Uhhh, hi Kerry, this is Candy. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tonight. I have to work late, and I’m going to be too tired to do anything once I get off. Sorry.”

That was it. Nothing more needed to be said. I didn’t need to tell him to call/text me later because I didn’t want him to but I didn’t want to be a complete jackass and say that he wasn’t my cup of tea and that this just wasn’t going to be a good thing to do. Yes, I lied! Okay… so what!

This time, I’m going with my gut and not going on the date. I couldn’t do that to myself. Too many red flags and I’m sure it would end up being another Malcolm the king of the douche-bags situation.

As I head back downstairs to grab my laptop, my phone rings. I rush back up and see that it’s Kerry. 

Ohhhhh, so he’s calling me now? I wonder if he listened to the voicemail?

“Hello?” I say dryly.

“Whassup shawty?” he says.

OMG!!!  *sigh*… shawty???… HATED IT!!! *in my Blaine and Antoine voices from In Living Color*

“Nothing. What’s up?” I asked. I was attempting to sound as disinterested with my drab and monotone sound as I possibly could but apparently it was falling on deaf ears.

“Can’t you get off of work early?” he asks. “I really want to see you tonight.”

I don’t care how cute he is, ain’t no way that’s happening.

“No, I just have too much that needs to be done this afternoon and I don’t think I’ll be done til later. MUCH later.” I say.

I could hear him greeting another customer at the barber shop in the background and he tells him to give him a few minutes while he talks to “his girl”.

*Wide-eyed*… HIS GIRL?!?!?!? Hol’up!!! Okay okay okay… don’t get all riled up Candy, I tell myself. I sometimes use that same term when referencing one of my girlfriends so maybe that’s what he meant.

“It’s cool. I’ll wait til ya get off yo job.” He said. “I just really want to see you baby.”

“Don’t do that Kerry.” I say.

Silence. “Do what?” he asks

“Don’t call me baby.” I say. At this juncture, everything he’s saying is urking the shit out of me.

“Daaaang, I’m sorry. I call everybody baby.” He laughs. "You mean girl. Loosen ya britches a little."

Really? You call everybody baby? Yeah right.

I say nothing. He continues, “I just want to see you Candy. Can I meet you at your job?”

OH HEEEEELLLLLLL FUCK NO!!! Is what my mind blurted out before I could begin to let the words form on my lips, yet I refrained from spitting it out.

“Ummm, naaahhh, I’m cool. Maybe some other time.” I say.

“So I can’t see you at all tonight?” He asks. “Not even if I come to you?”

“What do you mean, ‘come to me’?” I say a bit taken aback by it all. "I know you not talking about coming over to my house?" I ask. "Oh no sir... that ain't happening!"

“I mean, I can come to yo side of town so you won’t be too far from ya crib. If you gon’ be tired and all.” he says halfway pleading with me.

Don’t Candy! Don’t do this! You know better! What have you been saying these last few days? Always go with your first mind. When the shit feels fucked it, 9/10 it is!!!

“Alright fine.” I cave. “Meet me at the Boulevard Diner on Holcomb Bridge Rd. at 9:30.”

Clearly I’m a glutton for punishment and I like drama right? Hmmm…. Something like that, but I know I need to fulfill my 30 days, even if they’re not exactly consecutive and even if they're with less than desirable folks. Fuck it! What do I have to lose?

“That’s what’s up shawty!.” He says all bubbly.

9:30 arrives and I am kicking myself. I just really don’t want to go, but I do it. When I get there, Kerry is already inside seated at a booth… but he’s not alone.

Sitting next to him is another woman. Ooooooookay! Maybe he met her here and they struck a conversation or maybe she’s a waitress just not doing her damn job and being overly friendly with the patrons? Whatever.

I walk over to the booth, and Kerry slides out so that I can sit on the inside.

“Oh nooooo… I’ll sit right here on the outside, thank you.” I say as I motion for him to get back in the booth. I needed to sit on the outside just in case something jumps offs and I need to break out and leave his ass quick fast... and in a  hurry!

I expected for the woman to get up and leave when I sat down, or hell, when I walked up, but she didn’t. She continued to stay seated in the booth as if she belonged. She smiled at me and introduced herself,

“Hey girl, I’m Karen. I work in the barber shop with Kerry.” She says as we shake hands.

“Nice to meet you Karen.” I reply.

Oh great! Another female coworker situation. I am so not up for more bullshit tonight.

“Say folk, I brought Karen because she wasn’t doing anything and she said she wanted to meet you to make sure that you was straight.” Kerry says as him and Karen exchange glances.

What the hell is this shit? He brought her here to make sure that I’m straight?

“To make sure I’m straight? Straight like my sexual orientation?” I ask slightly offended.

They both laugh. Oh, did I crack a joke? Did I say some funny shit that I didn't know about? My face should have told them that I was not amused and I found not one damn thing about this whole situation funny.

“Nah nah nah shawty, straight like, if you good people or not?” Kerry interjects.

He can’t do this shit on his own? Aren’t you a grown man making your own decisions? You need to bring a woman on a date to check your date out? Who does this kind of shit?

I was completely thrown off by all of this. “Wait, so you brought her here to make sure that I was cool?” I say flabbergasted. HE wants to make sure that I AM cool??? I should be the one doing this dumb shit not him.

“I mean yeah,” she responds as if I'm the stupid one here. “It’s some real crazy broads here in Atlanta and Kerry is a good dude with a lot to lose.”

A lot to lose? This kid? Looking at Kerry, I ask, “What do you have to lose Kerry?” I need to hear this one.

“Well, first of all, I’mma young cat with a lot going fa’myself,” he replies. “I own my own businesses and I have several other properties that I own. I’m not trying to find a woman that’s gon’ try to get all my shit. Ya feel me?”

Little did I know, Kerry is the owner of the barber shop where I met him and he owns all of the other chains throughout the metro area. Okay, big whoop! I've met business owners before. I have never been that woman that cared about the assets that a man has because I envisioned them one day being mine as well. I’ve always looked at things like that as being easily obtained, but yet also easily lost.

“Kerry, I don’t care about what you got.” I say. I say it because I mean it. If he was just a simple barber at the shop I wouldn’t give a damn. But what I do care about is this 3-way date that I’m in.

“This,” I say pointing at all three of us, “is what the fuck I do care about and what I don’t like.”

Karen sits back in her seat as she prepares to listen to what I have to say.

“I’m too old for this kind of shit! And even though you’re only 28, you should be too! I don’t know any man, that would pull no shit like this!” I exclaim. “It’s totally ridiculous that you feel that you need to bring a middle man on a FIRST date with you just to see if that person is ‘cool’ or not.”

I continue, “You’re a business owner for Christ sake! The only time I can see you bringing someone on a date with you to ‘check the other person out’ is if it’s a dinner date with a potential client or if it’s about business and you need witnesses or there are other parties involved.” I say. “But this,” pointing and motioning to the three of us, “is dumb ditty dumb dumb dumb!”

“I was already apprehensive about coming on this date, and all you’ve done is validate every cause, concern, and feeling I had in the beginning.”

I don’t even know if I took a breath in there at anytime. I was so heated with it all that I just kept rolling until I got it all out.

“And Karen, I’m sure you’re a nice person, and I assume you have Kerry’s best interest at heart, but if he’s going on a first date with a woman that he’s interested in, then you should have told him no, that it didn’t look right, and a first date is reserved for the two parties involved ONLY.” I say as I look her straight in the eye.

I expected for one of them to interject and stop me at any moment, but it never happened... so I kept going.

“If we had been on several dates, and we were at a point of us getting real serious about one another, THEN I could almost understand bringing someone along to meet the new person, but a first date? Chil’ please.”

I hadn’t even taken off my coat or put my purse down when I sat in the booth. There was no need to gather up anything to leave because I was already ready.

Neither of them could get anything out nor did they try. I don’t know. Maybe they’ve done this before and the women were cool with it or understood, but I was not and I don’t!

“Ya’ll take it easy.” I say as I slide out of the booth and walk out the door.

Lesson Learned: God gave us intuition for a reason. Use it!